CONFLICT RESOLUTION

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

I decided to use the role of mommy for this assignment.  I am always in constant conflict at home and it is like I am thrown the middle of the mess and none of my kids take responsibility.  All of them are always the victim and so no matter what I decide, I am wrong.  As I looked over the reading for this week, I particularly liked the  (Allocation of Power) because I think that it would truly help me at home.  If I can delegate privileges based on their ages etc, then it will hopefully motivate each of them to be or try to do their best.  Since my oldest feels unhear, left out etc, then I would allocate him a larger amount of good responsbility so that he feels special and mature.  The other method would be (Compromise).  I have issues at home with trying to stick to the rules with the children, so I think that it would help if I were able to give them options and be willing to let them choose and support their decisions.  By compromising I am sort of eliminating rage, crying and unwilling behavior, by empowering them with compromise which give them options.

I can definitely use some of the principles of nonviolent communication to resolve this conflict, because through applying the principles, the base issue is uncovered without suggested opinion and it teaches the observer/educator etc, to focus on ways to resolve conflict.

 

Self Communication Evaluation

Self Communication Evaluation

(My thoughts, their thoughts)

         I am not surprised at my outcome of the exercise because in dealing with my son who was one of my family members that participate,  no matter what the reality is, he is the victim so my communication is off, my listening is off and my verbal aggressiveness according to him.   I truly expected that, but it was only fair to let him have a chance, and also the fact that I live in an area where I do not have many associates. What I found unique is that although I do not say a lot of things out loud, my internalized thoughts were that of some of the questions. I think mentally sometimes I do get frustrated when something needs to be done, and because of strong will a person refuses and makes a stand based off of being stubborn. For example, my roommate who rents to us, is single and has been so being around kids is different for him, but he enjoys them. He got cable just because he could even though we talked about the fact that the kids would not play anymore, and they would get fixed on the TV. I asked if he would put it in his room so that they would not feel the need to stay on the couch all day with no activity, and he would not. Another example, I asked if he could leave the key, and  he said yes, well he decided to hide it, which was fine, but where he hid the key was the problem. He took a sign and laid over the key, which he place on the ground in the grass next to the house. Well we got home at 11 pm and it was dark and the key was like a needle in a haystack. I was so upset, because once again I felt that it could have been handled better. When I asked him why, he said well "I did not want anyone to see where I put the key" and I thought to myself, "you did not want anyone including yourself to be able to find it either"; but I kept that to myself and few other things LOl. What I am trying to say is, when I encounter stuff like that, in my head a few thoughts that aren't so nice surface, but I do not let it come out of my mouth out of respect.

I guess I learned that "if you can't say something nice, then you should not say anything at all".

My thoughs:  Communication is the gateway to understanding, and if one cannot convey their ideas appropriately, then they can end up being misunderstood.  Also, I do believe that how you view yourself, does play an active role, in how we communicate with others, and I feel that if our self-concept is poor, then we tend to convey ourselves as such.  For the most part people see me as better than I see myself, but of course with my son will always have a selective perception of me, because he is close to me and he has his own personal reasoning.  Last, but not least limited self-denigration, in my opinion can improve a person's self concept, because we are our own worst enemy at times.

Reference:

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A    

         sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

 "Communication Anxiety Inventory" and "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale"
Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Routledge via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication

        research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

 "Listening Styles Profile-16" 

Culture Diversity

Truthfully, I do find myself communicating differently with individuals from other cultures, because it seems like many times when I call customer care for help, they usually have people from other countries for responders.  The individuals know English, but it is limited and it gets a little frustrating when they talk so fast and you can't understand.  So, I ask politely for my responder to repeat and talk a little slower, because I am having trouble understanding.  My main things is to try to be polite and achieve my overall goal, which is to get help, because if the tables were turned, I would want them to be polite with me.

The ways in which I communicate with other groups are: talk slower, pronounce my words clearer, and I ask questions so that I can be of help rather than a hindrance.

One strategy that can help communicate more effectively with people or group is being mindful.  Instead of lumping groups of individuals, I can take into count each of their individual qualities as I encounter them and it helps to relate and communicate better.

Secondly, I can deconstruct my schemas and in doing so, I can eliminate some of the schemas that might have been created based on stereotypes.  I find that it is easy to train oneself to believe something, that is not necessarily based on the true, but rather a preconceived idea; but it is harder to go back and self correct a prior thought process to enhance communication and become more effective with various cultures.

Last but not least, I can expand my perspective.  As a college student, one of the things that was stressed, was to get out on campus and in the community and get involved.  By getting involved, it opens a gateway to understand, and with understand, people can begin to relate and communicate with one another.  Cancer Awareness, Battered women programs, community center involvement, church aide groups (that issue food, clothing and vouchers to those who qualify).  The more one is exposed too, the more he or she expands her perspective.

Communication (Love and Hip Hop)

                I observed  Love and Hip Hop. When I looked at the show, I saw lots of men and women

dancing, and talking.  From what I could see, the expressions on their face told a lot. The girls were

dressed very degrading, but of course that was due to my lack of understanding of their role in the

show.  I basically felt like there was a lot of relationships going on and drama, and must of that was

because of the body language exhibited.  When I turned on the volume  it was just as I suspect,

marriage and dating drama.  Women and men cheating on one another, and a lot of loud arguing. 

Of course the dress attire was due to the dancing in the hip hop business; but despite all of that,

many of the women on their acted like they had no class, which lately I find that is the way that

women of color are portray themselves both verbally and non-verbally in reality shows etc.  There

was strong use of eye contact, voice volumes and facial expressions and for the most part the

women appear to be at war, because of the way they acted towards one another.